


honey I am not your martyr

by AdorabloodthirstyKitty



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 07:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorabloodthirstyKitty/pseuds/AdorabloodthirstyKitty
Summary: Dark reaches a breaking point.





	honey I am not your martyr

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TiredSadEldritchHorror](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredSadEldritchHorror/gifts).



He focuses on breathing.

Deep, even breaths, as he fiddles with banners and bows, arranging and rearranging the snack table, eyes scanning the room intently.

He needs to focus on this, because if he doesn't he knows he may break.

Maybe not physically, maybe not even enough to be noticed, but he can already feel a dark, hollow pit in his stomach, dread and anxiety threatening to pull him under, to make him lose what control he has. And he can't do that. Not here. Not today.

Wilford trots in with a ridiculous pile of presents, all wrapped in bright paper in varying shades of pink, setting them down in front of the tv and couch. He straightens, bright eyes finding Dark's, and beams as he comes to stand beside him.

“You've outdone yourself yet again, Darky. This place is the berries, dear.”

“Thank you,” Dark hums, straightening as he tries to ignore the pit in his stomach, the thought of what he'll have to endure for the next few hours or so for the sake of making Yan happy. It won't be particularly pleasant for him, but as long as Yan is happy, it will be worth it.

When Dark looks up from the scattered confetti across the table Wilford is studying him with a keen eye, and Dark tenses minutely, immediately wanting to disappear into shadow, to be away from those bright eyes that spear him through the chest.

But as soon as it happens it's gone again, Wilford smiling brightly as he claps his hands and rubs them together eagerly.

“Where are the others? When is our dear Yan coming?”

“The others should be here soon, and Yan should be back within the hour. I sent them to get some things at the store, keep them distracted.”

“Good man. Let me get the others. And loosen up, Mrs. Grundy. It's a party, not a funeral. Have a drink.”

Dark doesn't have time to mention the punch isn't alcoholic before Wilford is gone, either down the hall or simply disappearing, only to reappear and startle any unsuspecting ego he can find. He takes Wilford's advice, pouring a cup and taking a sip as he waits for the others, the egos slowly wandering in, most with boxes and bags that they set on the already enormous pile of gifts thanks to Wilford. His own gift sits heavy in his pocket, and he ignores the impulse to fiddle with it as the room slowly fills, egos milling about while they wait for Yan to return home.

A knock rings out from the front door, the room growing more quiet as Dark moves to open the door. Chase Brody stands on the other side, a gift bag in fidgeting hands. He looks nervous, though Dark isn't surprised. He seems to be generally nervous, especially around Dark.

“Uh, hi. I'm not late, am I?”

“You're just in time,” he replies, stepping back as he opens the door to let him in, Chase's shoulders hunched up near his ears until Bing comes and wraps a friendly arm around him, smiling as he pulls him further in to set the gift down and meet some of the others.

Dark is just about to shut the door again when he hears footsteps, looking out to see a few more septic egos making their way toward the door, specifically Jackie and Jameson, each carrying presents before they spot him, stopping just before the door with wide eyes. Jameson waves, but it's Jackie who steps forward.

“Thank you for inviting us, Dark. Schneep should be here soon, but I can't promise Anti will be here.”

“He'll be here,” Dark replies, trying not to let any bitterness creep into his voice as he steps back to let them in. “Make yourselves at home.”

They both nod, Jameson signing a quick thank you as they join the others, mingling with the others easily enough. So far the party seems to be going well, music playing quietly from the speakers, the septic egos getting along well enough with the others, though he doesn't expect that to last once Anti shows his face. He sighs, shutting the door as he waits for the last couple guests to arrive, hoping this all goes well, for Yan’s sake.

The doctor is the last to arrive before they hear Yan's car pull up out front, Dark taking a moment to move back amongst the others as everyone crouches or hides, Bing lowering the music while they wait for Yan.

As soon as Yan steps in the lights flash brighter, Wilford, King, and Bing popping party poppers with confetti and blowing into noisemakers as everyone yells surprise, and Dark feels his heart soften when the look of surprise on Yan's face morphs into a bright smile. Iplier comes forward to hug them, Bing, Chase, and a few others converging around the ego as Dark waits, hands in pockets, unable to stop himself from fiddling with the small box in his hand. He enjoys the moment as best he can, giving a small nod and something close to a smile when Yan spots him past the small crowd that's engulfed them. They grin back, and Dark tries to ignore the painful twinge in his chest when their attention is pulled away, the eventual arrival of their last guest hanging like a guilletine above his head, waiting to fall.

They open presents, eat, dance. Wil even convinces him into dancing, though he's not half as lively as his partner. It makes Yan happy, though, so he doesn't refuse.

The party slowly winds down, various egos spread out in clusters while Dark takes a moment to himself, taking a sip from his cup. He winces slightly, the burn of alcohol prominent, and immediately turns to Wilford, who only grins as their eyes meet across the room. He'll have to make sure he didn't spike the whole bowl, sighing as he brings the mostly-empty bowl toward the kitchen.

He's just refilled it with punch devoid of alcohol when he hears footsteps behind him, turning to find Yan, a party hat sitting lopsided amongst bright red hair and a smile on their face. He smiles back, though just barely.

“Happy birthday, Yan. I hope you're enjoying the party.”

“It's amazing, thank you Dark.”

“It's no trouble.”

Yan moves to stand beside him, reaching behind him to pour a cup of punch. They lean against the counter, both egos surveying the party before they break the short silence.

“You really didn't have to invite the septics, but I appreciate it.”

“I know I didn't. But I also knew it would make you happy, and that's all I want.”

“You didn't invite Senpai, did you?” they ask, obviously eager before their eyes fall, shoulders slumping at an alarming rate, deflating like a balloon before his eyes. “He probably wouldn't have come anyway; he probably doesn't even know I exist.”

Their tone is sad, and immediately he feels a sharp pain lance through his heart, putting a hand on their shoulder before he can stop himself.

“Yandere, you are a smart, kind, wonderful person; if he hasn't seen that, it's his loss, not yours.”

Yan's small frown curls up at the corners, eyes softening when they meet his gaze. His present still sits heavy in his pocket, fishing the small box out of his pocket and handing it to Yan.

“Happy birthday,” he smiles, and Yan absolutely beams before ripping the small box open, eyes widening before they launch themself up to wrap their arms around him in a surprisingly strong hug. He wobbles, obviously surprised before returning the gesture, though his hold isn't as strong as Yan pulls back to smile up at him, already letting go to unclasp the necklace and put it on.

"I love it, Dark. Thank you."

Dark doesn't have time to say another word before a feeling of static fills the room, Dark looking up just in time to see Wilford opening the door for Anti, who nods in greeting before stepping inside, bright eyes scanning the room. Yan visibly tenses, though they're smiling, ecstatic when they turn back to Dark, and pain hits him square in the chest as Anti's eyes find Yan and he smiles, Yan's face turning a lovely shade of pink as they head into the main room. Dark doesn't follow, doesn't move at all. He may as well be a corpse with how little he moves, how shallow his breaths are as he grips the counter behind him hard enough to hurt. He watches Yan stop just in front of Anti, who holds a small bag. Dark swallows past the lump in his throat that threatens to suffocate him, watching as Anti touches the pendant at Yan's throat, a knife with a ruby as a drop of blood at it's edge. Yan talks, giddy and smiling, and Anti's eyes find him. He smiles, sharp and cruel, and Dark grips the counter harder, hard enough that he wonders idly how much pressure it would take to crack it.

"Dark, my good man!"

Dark almost jumps, turning to find Wilford heading for him, a hand clapping his shoulder as he hands him a cup. He steers Dark out of the kitchen and away from Anti and Yan, and Dark is very much aware that he's distracting him on purpose, and at this moment he couldn't be happier for it.

"I just wanted to clean up a bit here, get Yan's things to their room and take out the trash, be a dear and help me?"

"Of course," Dark agrees immediately, letting Wilford hand him some of the small mountain of presents scattered near the tv until they've picked up all of them, Wilford leading the way down the hall to Yan's room. They're quiet on the walk there, but as soon as the door shuts behind them Wilford all but tosses the presents to the bed, hands at his hips as he eyes Dark.

"How are you doing, old chum?"

Dark straightens his shoulders, turning away from Wil with the pretense of putting some of these presents away so he doesn't have to meet Wilford's sharp gaze.

"I'm fine, Wil."

"You're still stuck on Yan, and you invite bright eyes over there to their party? Knowing how they feel for that little gremlin?" he hums, tilting his head toward the room they left, and Dark sighs, moving the small pile to the dresser near Yan's bed. He doesnt meet Wilford's eye when he replies.

"I want them to be happy, Wil, even if it's not with me."

Wilford is quiet for so long that Dark wonders if he heard him, but Wilford only sighs, coming over and clapping a warm hand on his shoulder again as he meets his eye.

"Dark, for someone who supposedly doesn't have a heart, you're too damn sweet for your own good."

Dark doesn't have a reply to that, so he changes the subject. "You're awfully present today."

Wilford's grin is equal parts teasing and kind as he replies. "I'm prone to it, from time to time. Especially if it's to knock some sense into you," he smiles, smacking his shoulder lightly. Dark can't help but smile at that.

"Thank you, Wil."

"Anytime, old chum. Now, I have another bottle of whiskey we can split once the party's died down. Let's call it a night, send the kids to bed, and have a damn drink. You need it, dear."

Dark finds himself smiling, allowing Wilford to wrap an arm around his shoulders and lead him out to the main room as he shoos the septic egos out, sending the rest of the egos to their rooms. Dark allows it, watching as the room clears out slowly, until he's left with Wilford for a drink. A nice way to end a stressful day, he thinks, allowing Wilford's constant stream of conversation to wash over him, something to hold onto as the empty, yawning pit finally disappears, and he feels more like a person then a walking black hole, the shattered parts of himself slowly fitting back together.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday bud!! this is for a supremely talented and lovely human being I met in my bud's server, and also kind of a way to fish about this dang good au they have going on. I have never loved yan more than I do in this iteration, in this au, in this awesome style this person does. it's just super good all around, check the ask-thelovesick-yan tumblr for That Good Yan Art y'all, it's awesome  
> also I wrote this while sleepily listening to a lot of St. Vincent, specifically Savior, Los Ageless, Cheerleader, and Cruel so if there's a weird vibe that may be a contributing factor ff


End file.
